Please Don’t Show Hillary This Post: 6 Things A Female Donald Trump Would Say To Win A Debate Against Trump 2016

The Donald has made a big splash in almost every presidential debate he’s entered beginning with the first debates in Cleveland, Ohio in 2015. Nothing, it seems, can get him down. He’s just too smart a player for anyone…except, quite possibly, another Donald Trump. To make it a more amenable an affair, how about a female Donald Trump.

Here’s some of the ridiculous soundbites you should watch out for. Trump, female version, unleashed!

We’d be in for perhaps the most explosive presidential debate in the history of TV and the nation, and debates, period.

“Trump is too fat. What kind of Commander In Chief is that going to be! Even The Russians could spot him and nuke him all the way from Moscow.”

Yes, a female Trump would not be above taking personal comments a bit too far. Would she complain if someone else mentioned height, weight or other personal unselling points? I can’t say for certain, but she’d want to play the victim in front of all the cameras. Slick, Trump.

“Trump is too weak, and kinda low energy. I mean, look. The guy has been dumped by two women he married already, and now he’s on his third. Who knows how long that will last?!”

Excellent campaign soundbites like that would be a female Trump’s trump card (ignore the pun). If they’ve got a better policy on immigration or the financial sector, never mind! Point out how many women they’ve been with or something a little hot button like that. Works every time!

 

“With hair like that! Jake(the moderator), we should really do something about that. Someone please give Mr. Trump a hair makeover. He thinks we’re on some kinda reality show and not, you know, an actual live debate.”

Trump has been roundly criticized for covering over a bald spot and pretending there’s nothing to it. You wonder if he’d be doing the same thing to the Benghazi affair it it was him, and not Clinton, that’s on the hook for that. At least give him some credit for actually knowing where Benghazi was. He must have read his notes on this one. Behind the simplicity facade, Trump is actually quite smart. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, I leave you to judge.

“One good thing about Trump, he’s a team player, supportive, you know, the guy. He supported both Romney and Obama in the last campaign. Sounds like flip-flopping to me.”

Trump and Romney have had a nasty spat lately, with Romney saying Trump would never do as the presidential candidate. You would think the feeling is reciprocal. Doesn’t matter that Romney is a very rich guy. As Trump likes to mention, he’s worth at least several Romneys, and flops several times as much. Which country was supposed to pay for that Mexican wall, again? Oh the Mexicans, that’s right. Or was it the Canadians. With Trump you’re only as sure as the last election!

 

“Trump wants to establish better relations with our best friends and enemies as well. So of course he’s mentioned the first thing he’d do as president is invite Putin over to the White House. Well, let me tell you how that’d go. I guess he thinks they’ll high-five each other with Putin, roll around on the floor and some judo, and then somehow the Russians will go back home, move out of Ukraine and we’ll all be allies again like it’s 1943!”

Trump has been roundly castigated for offering simplistic solutions to major problems, with good reason. A wall to hold the Mexicans in! I guess Pink Floyd were really writing about a guy named Trump, about 30 years too early.

While it’s commendable that he thinks he can establish better relations with the Russians, just so they can avert WWIII, the suggestion smacks of self-promotion.

Y’all can’t handle the Russian bear, so of course tough ol’ cowboy Trump is gonna come down Mt. San Antonio, grab the Russian bear by the collar and whip him into a bear-hugging, friendly basset hound. Ha! I hope he’s bought some good bear insurance plan, or this ain’t gonna end good.

Trump, always got a grandiose statement to make. But he knows it, at least give him some credit.

“Nice gesture, someone told me Trump had some kids from the local shelter over to his mansion for Christmas. Poor sods, too bad no-one told them they’d be filling in for the Latino staff that had gone down to Mexico for the holidays!”

Yes, Trump is controversial, there’s no denying it. One moment he ruffles the Democrats’ feathers, the next he’s ganging up with Bernie Sanders against Ronald Reagan’s tax policy or praising Mike Tyson for knocking out guys the way Trump would do it. No wonder the Democrats can’t quite figure out how to attack him best, nor the Republicans how to support him!

Yet would America be a better place if Trump were elected president? Who knows?

It’s funny when you consider it. Our schools like to pick on people who are a bit different from everyone else. And that’s something that Trump seems never to have grown out of, yet. On the other hand, he’d be rich pickings for a female Trump. Please don’t show Hillary this post!

Comments are closed.